I'm going to campus tomorrow after work to drop my sociology class for a 50% refund. It would have been rad to get the syllabus before July 2nd, when I could have gotten a 100% refund, but you win some, you lose some. This class would have been entirely too fast-paced for me: 4, 3-page papers; a midterm exam and a final exam; not to mention the "portfolio" which was to consist of my analysis of 3 professional journal articles, 5 newspaper/magazine articles, and 2 movies, all related to a social issue of my choosing. The example portfolio she posted in the course contents was 25 pages long, there's no way I would have time for all that. I'm able to get a lot of school work done while I'm at work, but that amount is crossing a self-imposed line. I mean, let's be honest, the job market is a little rough these days, so I can't afford to lose the job I have. I need to at least pretend that I devote some brain power to work during the course of the day.

I also didn't really like the way the assignments were handled by the teacher. "Write a 3-page paper on one of the three sociological theories. Make sure to include information about the founders of the theory. Is the theory still relevant today?" What? Those directions are entirely too vague for me to write three pages worth of words. I managed to write at least three pages or more for papers in my English class, that were edited down to as close as I could get them to the requirements, because my teacher was very clear with what she wanted. I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing in general, but I liked it; it gave me a precise direction in which to go, and I never felt like I was floundering for information. The other thing I wasn't too keen on was that all of the papers for this class had to be written in APA format, which would be fine if I was at all familiar with the APA format, but I'm not. Given that this course is only 5-weeks long, getting used to a completely different style of writing while following the vaguest of outlines for a whole lot of work, I doubt I would have done well in the class.

On the upside, I got 101 points out of 100 as my final grade for my English class. That makes me feel pretty good, ish. I'm not sure if I did so well because the course was "easy" or because I actually have what it takes to be a good student, but either way it's a pretty cool guy. My English teacher said that she would recommend me for the Honors program if that would be something I'm into, but I looked into the class schedule and it just wouldn't be possible. I'd have to either miss a lot of time from work or miss out on spending time with Devin, and I'm not willing to sacrifice either of those things. I won't be taking any courses on campus until Devin is older and can better understand why I'm not home. At his age now, I don't think he'd be able to see my going to school as something that's good for both of us, he would just see it as "mommy's never home".

But I'm not going to let failing at sociology before I even had to do any actual work stop me from finishing this school thing. I'm using some of the money from the refund to have Devin's birthday party and banking the rest so that I can maybe take a fall class that isn't sociology. I need to remember to see this "failure" as just a speed bump that's slowing me down, not as a brick wall that's stopping me completely. Hopefully I won't need to be reminded.