i don't use this any more. i'm over at jessrex.tumblr.com and it's as full of nothing as this blog was.

Trying to keep "things are (mostly) what you make them" in the front of my brain. There's a lot of other things vying for pole position, but I gotta make sure I keep that one in first.

I've been playing "Need for Speed: Underground" all weekend.

It's very hot right now and it needs to thunderstorm. It is making my head itch, and I can only imagine what it would feel like if I still had my weave.

So I thought I was going to lose my job. Then I made a big fuss about it and they said they could only give me Monday, Wednesday, Friday. They said this was due to a lack of work for me to do and a lack of funds for my position. Those things are both bullshit, but whatever.

Meanwhile, the woman they hired to clean up one of the son's gigantic messes is making $800 a week under the table for the 18 hours she works per week. This is $300 more per week than I make for 40 hours. The woman they hired to clean up said mess also; owns her own bar, owns several rental properties (including one in Ocean City), sells a line of leather handbags, drives a pre-Ford Jaguar, a brand new pickup truck, and a convertible that she only drives "on weekends, in the summer".

In comparison, I; own nothing, drive a Hyundai Accent.

Right.

i'm a little too old to not know what i want to be when i grow up.
i have yet to recover from when my mother told me that mermaids aren't real.

My aunt, who I visited in the nursing home back in August when she was given eight weeks to live, finally passed away on Friday. I'm pretty sure it took so long because they stopped all her cancer treatments and were only giving her pain management and taking care of her diabetes. I don't want to get old.

I am a bad person and I should feel bad.