I've been going tanning for the last two weeks or so, and I can already see a difference. So, because I can't see myself properly, I conducted a survey of my peers, Annie, to see if I look "better" with a tan. She said that I do. Being told that I look "better" with a tan only further solidifies my opinion that I shouldn't have been born in Maryland, or any other state that has four clearly defined seasons.

All of the above only further solidifies my opinion that I am a test-tube baby. Perhaps I was subjected to intense cold when in the tube, a la Brave New World, and that is why I crave the heat. Maybe I'm destined, or was designed, to be the palest banana picker ever. Or maybe I crave heat because my mother was pregnant with me during the spring and summer, so I grew fond of nice weather in utero. It really could be any number of things, even things I didn't list here. Probably only things I didn't list here.

I'd love to live in a place with no weather, as I've often heard California described. I'd love to live in a place where I don't have to look forward to the weekends to take a trip to the beach because of the three-hour drive, I can just go right after work. The beach is the only place where I actually feel grounded; I see the sometimes violent convergence of two opposite elements, and it's completely awe-inspiring. The beach makes me feel awake. I asked Devin if he wanted to move to California and he said, "NO! I'll stay here and live with Travis!". No. Travis is Devin's best friend and he's evil, and unless they build a house on top of my grave, they will not be living together.

So it looks like Maryland it is, for the time being anyway, which is only kind of disappointing and depressing. It's fine from between May until all of the leaves have fallen from the trees, then I'll get that itch up my ass that can only be scratched by, getting in my car, and seeing how far I can go on a single tank of gas. Or the itch that can only be scratched by imagining that I can just get into my car and see how far I can go on a single tank of gas.